Band F.A.Q.

 

Will I be able to walk after getting hit with the hammer of rock (live)?

Possibly, it usually takes 3-5 business days until you return to your normal physical condition, but anything is possible.

 

Is the band liable for any damages occurred after getting smashed with rock and roll?

NO. All Red Rock Rebellion© shows are attended at your own risk. Consider yourself warned. (Red Rock Rebellion©, here forth “the band”, will be held responsible for 5% of the fees incurred during the diagnosis of the rare rock induced liver disorder, Dubin Johnson Syndrome. The band does condone the attendance of anyone with a pre-existing case of this disease. The band is in no way responsible for treatment fees, side effects, or any other related costs, and liability ends with the diagnosis of the disease. Contact theband@redrockrebellion for further information regarding this topic. )

 

My friend told me she saw you, and said that there's now way you guys were actually playing what she saw live. Do you guys use computer technology to increase your level of rock?

No all the rock provided is completely natural, and organic. There are no such outside “computer” devices assisting us to raise our rock value (our rock meter is obviously full already anyway).

 

Are you guys better than (any band here)?

Of course that's a very subjective question. The short answer is yes.

 

I heard a rumor that you have legendary rock and roll powers and legendary rock and roll vision. Is this true? Where can I get them? What exactly do they do?

1. Yes it's true. Please refer to “the band” page.
2. Unfortunately you can't just “get them”, you either have legendary rock and roll powers or you don't.
3. Trying to explain what they do is futile. Legendary rock and roll powers can do more than your wildest dreams, and pigeonholing their ability will only mislead you.

You can find merchandise at the online store.

 

I think I'm really good, can I join your band?

No, and stop sending the band covers of Eruption and soloing over our songs in the wrong key.

 

Why do you guys always have a scary scare crow on stage?

Through meticulous research, and minor use of rock and roll vision, Red Rock Rebellion© discerned that having a fifth member of the band was critical to success. In rock and roll points, a scarecrow is worth about 8 (an average human being has a value of about 3), which almost always reduces the chances of Chlamydia.

 

How can I help?

See “How can I Join the Rebellion? ”

 

Can I send you pictures of me and my friends?

Absolutely, there is actually a long running contest for the “Best Fan Picture”. Send what you've got and you'll be sent a personal response as soon as possible. Extra points can be added to your total if a piece of Red Rock Rebellion© merchandise is clearly viewable in the picture. Remember, be creative.

Email pictures to: theband@redrockrebellion.com

 

I have a guitar pick thrown into the audience by lead guitarist Jon Martin, a pair of his boxers, and a used protection device. What exactly is the street value for this package?

Depending on the thickness and wear on the items, the value can fluctuate drastically. The best solution is to return with the items and a bottle of Southern Comfort to the band headquarters and discuss it with the particular band member personally (in this case Jon Martin). The protection device is considered a personal collectable and may be kept as memorabilia if desired (along with any other items collected).

 

I was lucky enough to gather a piece of a scarecrow burned at one of your concerts, what should I do?

All scarecrow remains must be returned immediately to the band headquarters. As part of an international goal of saving endangered species, these scarecrow remains are protected by G.O.A.T.F.U.C.R.S (Greenwich Organization Against The Foul Undertakings Concerning Rare Scarecrow), and are not to be harmed.

 

If each of the band members were a food product, what kind of delicious meal would they combine to be?

There is information regarding this topic in the biography on “the band” page, but in case more information on the band members' relation to food products is desired, the band has provided additional food product comparisons.

Information on reading the chart can be found below.*

Band Member	Jon ( Steak )	Shad ( Potato )	Jason ( Spice )
Jon ( Steak )	Big Steak	Steak & Potatoes	Peppercorn Steak
Shad ( Potato )	Steak & Potatoes	Sack of Potatoes	Stuffed Potato
Jason ( Spice )	Peppercorn Steak	Stuffed Potato	Spice Rack

 

I need help with women, and you guys seem to do amazing. Do you have any advice or a philosophy to help me out?

Get off the couch. Grab a guitar. Move out of your mom's house.

 

Please forward any other inquiries to theband@redrockrebellion.com

 

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